I have submitted my request for citizenship. Celexa nation, actually. So far, I'm liking it just fine. Am I happy that I've reached a point in life where I need medication to deal with things? No, I'm not. But I am. And I'm glad it's there. Because the way I've been feeling, the way I've been reacting to everydamnthing isn't normal. Or if it is, I don't want to be normal. And apparently my doctor agreed that it wasn't normal because he wrote the prescription.
But I haven't screamed at my children in four days. I've been happy to give and recieve hugs and kisses from them. I've played with them. Saturday night, we were having dinner at my parents with some other family members and I got tickled at something my cousin said and I laughed. I laughed out loud, for several minutes. I haven't done that in months.
Am I happy I need pills? No, I'm not. But I'm happy I'm finding myself again. Happy that I'm enjoying my family again. Happy I can laugh again. And one day I won't need the pills to do all of that stuff, and I'm happy about that, too.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
I hate August
August is the one month of the year that I simply loath. Despise. Hate with a passion. Oh sure, my girls' birthday is in August, and that's something happy. And the first day of school is in August. That's always a cause for celebration. But those happen early in the month, leaving nothing else to look forward to except the cooler breezes of September.
Every year when the girls start back to school, I think I'll start back to my walking routine. This year, I'm dragging the dogs along. We headed out about 9am and walked for about 35 minutes. About halfway through, I was drenched with sweat and the dogs were panting like we'd been running. Now it was only about 75F. Not that hot, right? Ah, but you forget the unpleasant pea soup that posses for an atmosphere around here in August. Sweat doesn't evaporate, you can't get a deep breath and climbing a hill makes you feel like you're going to pass out.
The dogs were glaring at me and I could tell they were thinking "Hey, do you see this fur coat? Huh? Didja? Well, why don't you wear it? I'm hot. I want to go home. You try walking around on hot pavement in the middle of freaking August with a fur coat on and see how enthusiastic you are about the idea. Stupid human."
But we did it, and will be doing it again several days a week because my pants are all tight and I refuse to go buy more in a bigger size. My dear friend Toni has reminded me that I'd prefer to spend most of my 30s basking in my hotness, when I'm aware enough of my sexuality to enjoy it. Especially since when I was young and slender and actually was hot, I was too dumb to realize it and enjoy it. Thus, I am determined to fight the ravages of being fat, getting pregnant with twins while fat, and then getting pregnant with a fat baby while slightly less fat. I may never be a Playboy bunny, but I can damned well get to the point where I look hot with clothes on.
So, bring it on August. I'll be back out there tomorrow. But don't bring it on too much, because I really hate August.
Every year when the girls start back to school, I think I'll start back to my walking routine. This year, I'm dragging the dogs along. We headed out about 9am and walked for about 35 minutes. About halfway through, I was drenched with sweat and the dogs were panting like we'd been running. Now it was only about 75F. Not that hot, right? Ah, but you forget the unpleasant pea soup that posses for an atmosphere around here in August. Sweat doesn't evaporate, you can't get a deep breath and climbing a hill makes you feel like you're going to pass out.
The dogs were glaring at me and I could tell they were thinking "Hey, do you see this fur coat? Huh? Didja? Well, why don't you wear it? I'm hot. I want to go home. You try walking around on hot pavement in the middle of freaking August with a fur coat on and see how enthusiastic you are about the idea. Stupid human."
But we did it, and will be doing it again several days a week because my pants are all tight and I refuse to go buy more in a bigger size. My dear friend Toni has reminded me that I'd prefer to spend most of my 30s basking in my hotness, when I'm aware enough of my sexuality to enjoy it. Especially since when I was young and slender and actually was hot, I was too dumb to realize it and enjoy it. Thus, I am determined to fight the ravages of being fat, getting pregnant with twins while fat, and then getting pregnant with a fat baby while slightly less fat. I may never be a Playboy bunny, but I can damned well get to the point where I look hot with clothes on.
So, bring it on August. I'll be back out there tomorrow. But don't bring it on too much, because I really hate August.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
How many have you read?
This is making the rounds on FB, so I thought I'd play along.
The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?
Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read. Tag other book nerds.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen X
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte X
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible X
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte X
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles DickensX
Total: 8
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas HardyX
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare Does it count if I've read most of them?
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier X
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger I started this when I was about 20 and thought it was horrible, so I didn't finish it.
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
Total: 3
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell X
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens X
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy I've read part of this, but not the whole thing.
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams X
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Total: 6
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne X
Total: 4
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell X
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery X
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood X
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding X
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
Total: 6
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martels
52 Dune - Frank Herbert X
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley X
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Total: 3
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Total: 1
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker X
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce X
76 The Inferno – Dante X
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray X
80 Possession - AS Byatt
Total: 6
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles DickensX
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert X
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom X
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle X
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Total: 5
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Total: 2
Grand total: 44
I've read more of the classics than the modern works. A lot of the modern books have reputations as tear jerkers and I try to avoid that kind of book.
The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?
Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read. Tag other book nerds.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen X
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte X
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible X
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte X
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles DickensX
Total: 8
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas HardyX
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare Does it count if I've read most of them?
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier X
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger I started this when I was about 20 and thought it was horrible, so I didn't finish it.
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
Total: 3
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell X
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens X
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy I've read part of this, but not the whole thing.
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams X
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Total: 6
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne X
Total: 4
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell X
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery X
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood X
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding X
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
Total: 6
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martels
52 Dune - Frank Herbert X
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley X
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Total: 3
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Total: 1
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker X
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce X
76 The Inferno – Dante X
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray X
80 Possession - AS Byatt
Total: 6
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles DickensX
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert X
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom X
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle X
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Total: 5
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Total: 2
Grand total: 44
I've read more of the classics than the modern works. A lot of the modern books have reputations as tear jerkers and I try to avoid that kind of book.
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