Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Today, I hate being a mother.

This has been one of those mornings where I just want to bang my head on something, beat the crap out of a tree with a baseball bat, stuff my kids in a box and mail them to Timbuktu and then crawl back in bed and get 8 hours of sleep.
Ds was up and ready to play at 5:15. Yawn. I don't like mornings. I think 7am is early. I hate waking up before the sun is up. Not only that, but he wakes up in the most annoying way. Anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes before he actually wakes up, he starts tossing and turning and squirming and "talking" in his sleep. It's impossible to sleep through all that, which means that I'm awake long before he actually opens his eyes.

Then El was up about 5:50. I made her get in my bed and at least pretend to sleep until the sun was up.

And of course I can't take a crap or a bath in peace. I forget what Em wanted while I was trying to use the bathroom, but whatever it was, she wanted it RIGHT NOW. Then they wanted in the bathtub with me. Now, believe me when I say that there is no way in hell I am going to miss this part of their childhoods. No way. Having two kids standing over you alternatly demanding to get in with you, leaning over and playing in the water (read, getting themselves wet) or asking what you are doing is not my idea of a fun bath.

Whacha doing Mommy? No! You need to leave the air under your arms, just like daddy (yeah, I bet daddy would love that). Why are you taking the hair off your legs? What's that? What's wrong with you!?!?

This last comment leads to me looking around in bewilderment as they point to some nonexistent flaw on some part of my body. It's enough to make a person feel a bit paranoid.

And next we had the temper tantrum over clothes. I seriously wonder what the hell we are doing wrong with Em. She has the worst temper, which is not a bad thing, but apparently we are failing utterly in teaching her how to control it. This morning it was because she didn't want to wear a sweater and it 20 degrees out. Kicking, screaming and crying over it. I ended up letting her pick out a shirt because the sweater I wanted her to wear was too small.

I try to avoid these fights by letter her pick out her own clothes, but t-shirts when it's freezing out don't cut it.

And the baby was screaming the entire time this was going on, making my stress level go through the roof.

So, I was very glad to pack them off the preschool. But of course ds isn't wanting to nap, so I still don't have any peace and quite.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

What a way to start the holidays.

We have the pukies going around. Fun times, I tell you. I started it yesterday. Then El puked on me bed. Why do children always pick the worst possible place to puke? Why my bed and not hers?
Now, dh is puking. So, he gets to stay home from work tomorrow and be underfoot.

I'm sure Em will be puking by tomorrow, too. The only saving grace in this is that ds doesn't seem to be catching it. Hopefully the ol' titstuffing will keep him well.


On other notes, my parents went to a family wedding this weekend. They said it was quite the suprise when the bride came down the aisle wearing a Christmas red gown. It takes chutzpuh to wear bright red to your own wedding (unless of course you are Chinese).

I think for the average white chick, though, a red gown either signifies a daring, yet classy woman, or a classless ho. Not that I've ever seen anyone wearing a red wedding gown, so what the hell do I know? Mother said this bride definatly fit the first description. Said she was very beautiful and elegant.


One good thing about illness running amok here. Dh sleeps in the guest room. lol Seriously, sharing a bed is supposed to be one of the benefits to marriage (or shacking up). But honestly, at times, you just want the bed to yourself. Adults really need their own rooms.

I think this is especially true with a baby in the house. We co-sleep with our babies, so he's in the bed with us most of the night. He starts off in a co-sleeper by the bed. So, there are 3 of us in the bed. And dh snores. Loudly. Even laying flat on his face he snores. Do you know how annoying snoring is? When you are trying to sleep, or doze back off and all you can hear is your spouse sounding like he is trying to imitate a chainsaw. And poking him doesn't work, and you can't yell "Would you shut the fuck up?!?" at him because you'll wake the baby up.
But, I digress. We're talking about bedsharing here.

So, adults need their own rooms. That way, you can politely just go to your own room without inviting the other person in when you aren't in the mood. You know which mood I'm talking about. SEX. Around here, that's most of the time. Between the hormone shift caused by breastfeeding, the lack of decent sleep and the fatigue generated by dealing with 3 kids all day, sex is the last thing I want come bedtime. Sure there are times I think about it. At 9am, when I'm not tired, but dh is at work, or on the weekends, the kids are underfoot. Daytime sex is great but not practical when you have kids.

So, poor dh thinks he's deprived and will often start rubbing my back or something and promptly start rubbing his willy up against my leg. Why do men think that is a turn on? I know it's there. I can tell you are feeling randy without rubbing it on me. If I wanted to get laid, I wouldn't need you rubbing your dick on me to get me turned on. If I'm not in the mood, no amount of dick rubbing is going to do it for me.

I am much more likely to find a clean kitchen, vacuumed floors, they toys put away and the laundry put away as a turn on, especially when someone else did at least a few of those tasks. That way, I have a little more energy to spare for thinking about making whoopie, instead of changing diapers.

So, we've only had sex 4 times in the 51/2 months since ds was born. It will get better, I promise. And it's not like I don't love him. I still do. Very much. (in case he ever reads this lol) But sex requires energy and I'd rather sleep. Speaking of, I'm going to bed.