I have submitted my request for citizenship. Celexa nation, actually. So far, I'm liking it just fine. Am I happy that I've reached a point in life where I need medication to deal with things? No, I'm not. But I am. And I'm glad it's there. Because the way I've been feeling, the way I've been reacting to everydamnthing isn't normal. Or if it is, I don't want to be normal. And apparently my doctor agreed that it wasn't normal because he wrote the prescription.
But I haven't screamed at my children in four days. I've been happy to give and recieve hugs and kisses from them. I've played with them. Saturday night, we were having dinner at my parents with some other family members and I got tickled at something my cousin said and I laughed. I laughed out loud, for several minutes. I haven't done that in months.
Am I happy I need pills? No, I'm not. But I'm happy I'm finding myself again. Happy that I'm enjoying my family again. Happy I can laugh again. And one day I won't need the pills to do all of that stuff, and I'm happy about that, too.
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I am a proud member of Xanax nation. I knew I needed help when my grocery list looked like this:
Bread
Milk
Cheese
Sausage
Tomato Sauce
Peanut Butter
Vodka… lots of Vodka
Ground Beef
Chicken
Yogurt
:-)
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