Mr. Rogers is always good for a warm fuzzy

"I like you just the way you are!"

He reminds me that I like myself quite a lot, too, and I'm ok with who I am.

Snow days and birthdays

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday. The kids were also out of school for a snow day. It was an all around good day, but I had forgotten how big a mess they can make with nothing to do but stay at home. Horses everywhere. Check. Blocks everywhere. Check. Barbies everywhere. Check. Couch cushions turned into a house. Check.

By the time the manwhore got home, you couldn't see the den floor, and I was pretty oblivious in a fog of writing. They had to clean up the den before bed, but the rest of the house is still iffy. I can't write and clean at the same time, it seems.

As for the snow, well, there wasn't much to be seen. We had about 1/4 in when we woke up, but it had started snowing early Tuesday evening, leaving the roads very wet. Very wet roads + 23 degree lows = snow day because all the back roads are iced over. It actually snowed off and on all day, too, rather heavy at times. But the sun would come out and melt it all before it snowed the next time. We probably had over an inch of snow, it just didn't accumulate.

And, I know this will be hard to believe what with my February birthday and all, but this is the first time in my life that it has snowed on my birthday. It has rained occasionally, but most of the time, we have a warm spell at the end of February, resulting in a warm and sunny day for me. Cold, cloudy and snowing is not on my wish list, but it was all right.

We went to Carrabas for supper, because I don't cook on my birthday. I watched in amazement as my picky eater child ate a big handful of calamari. Kids are so weird. The manwhore and I split a jug of cheap red wine, and I drank most of it. Then I had to fight for a few bites of the cake we ordered because they were snarfing it up. Wine and chocolate. What every woman needs on her birthday.

And the best news of all, the manwhore had his annual review yesterday. He went into it expecting to tell his boss that he'd had enough and would be seriously looking for another job. He walked out with a 4% raise, the goals that he wants, a promise of what he will be doing once this system he's working on is gone in June, and assurance that he is on the right track for promotions. Hal-le-fucking-luh-jah! Scheduling his review on my birthday obviously brought him some sort of good luck.

So, at the moment, I don't care that my in-laws hate me. Screw them, life is good!

So, it seems my inlaws don't like me.

Let me start with the little disclaimer that I'm pretty pissed and hurt right now, and this is my blog and I'm going to spout off. If someone reads this and gets her feelings hurt, I apologize.

Anyway, while I was gone to the retreat, the manwhore took the kids to see his parents. We haven't laid eyes on them since XMas and have only spoken to them on the phone once or twice. While they were there, father-in-law (FIL) proceeds to tell Bill all about how he thinks that I am ungrateful and self-centered and that he doesn't like me, and according to him, mother-in-law and sister-in-law (MIL and SIL) don't like me either.

According to him, I acted like a bitch at Xmas, hurt MIL's feelings and after we left, she cried and they all sat around and talked about how much they don't like me.

I freely admit that I was rather terse when we left because I was pissed at SIL. Bill was, too. Apparently she was so stressed out that she couldn't deal with our kids for more than 24 hrs, so she asked us to leave.

When we left, we thought their parents knew this. And from what FIL has said, she never told them that we left because she asked us to.

But, she was all stressed out over her dissertation and her job and blah blah blah. Yep, I'm being a big old heartless bitch, now. It was Xmas, she could have sucked it up, slapped a smile on her face and drank a bottle of wine or two. She isn't the only person in the family dealing with a lot of stress right now.

Bill is pretty fucking miserable in his job and no one really cares or knows. His dad actually told him back before Xmas that it didn't matter how unhappy he is, that he should just suck it up and stay with TSC, because they pay well.

Now, since I'm all pissed off and all, I'm going to come out and say I don't like FIL very much, myself. I think he has a flaming case of asshole-itis, and needs to get the fuck over himself. But, I suck it up and slap a smile on my face and act pleasant around him, even when he's throwing a temper tantrum to end all temper tantrums, a la my 2 yr old.

So, where will all of this end? Right now, it ends here. I will not be going up there. My children will not be going up there, and the in-laws are not welcome in my house. Bill can go, but he says he won't go without me. They could all drop dead, and I'm not too sure I would care. I would only because Bill and the kids would.

When things settle down for Bill and SIL, he and I want to sit down with the five of us, in a counselor's office and see if things can't be put right. If not, when the kids are old enough to drive, they can make the choice to have or not have a relationship with their grandparents. Until then, they won't be seeing them.

And let me reiterate, I'm mad. I'm really, really mad right now. In a week, I might not think this way. But right now I do, and I'm not going to stuff my feelings about it. If any possible readers don't like it, they can go suck it.

God, I'm exhausted

The retreat was fabulous! Lots of fun and good advice and inspiration to keep working. I sort of stayed on a high all weekend, so now I'm in the post high slump, and pooped.

The only dark spot to the weekend, other than the fact it was cold, was that the editor from Harelquin got snowed in in New York, and couldn't make it. She has said that she'll call everyone who had an appointment so we can pitch to her over the phone. Yay, I can puke on my phone instead of on her shoes.

Oh, and I bought the kids some little souvenirs, and I think I left them in someone else's car. Now I have to track her down and see if she found them. If they aren't there, then I guess that was $20 down the drain.

Bask in my awesomeness!

I have written over 25,000 words since last Friday. I've written 7,000 of those words today. Touch me, I am an awesome writing machine.

I am trying like to mad to finish my second book, which has the working title of Blown Away, before my writer's retreat this weekend. I don't know if I'm going to finish it, because quite frankly, my ass is worn out. But I'm close and I'm going to work on it some more tomorrow. I could stay up tonight, but my brain is a bit fried, too. Did I mention my ass hurts?

So, I'm going to go the bed, hopefully to wake up fresh and ready to have my characters engage in the Black Moment vitriol filled fight that they are going to have, because what's a romance novel without that Black Moment? I think she is going to hurl insults and possibly even rocks at his head. But love will prevail, hurricane winds will not wipe out said love, but make it stronger. And some more sex is going to happen.

Oh yes, sometime before 11:22 am Sat morning, I have to come up with a 25 word pitch for the real, live Harlequin editor about this book.

And my ass really hurts. Too much time in this chair this week.

The manwhore, he is awesome

Well, at least very understanding. Or oblivious to dirt. rofl
So we were talking last night about this retreat, and how I've been writing like mad. I apologized for the messy state of the house, and bless his heart, he told me it didn't look messy to him. Cluttered, yes, but he blamed that on the kids.

Now, I suppose it is just him being a man and not noticing these things, because I haven't done more than vacuum the middle of the floor and swish the brush around one toilet in over a week. Things are not pristine around here. But, CPS won't be knocking on our door, either.

But, I guess I'm glad he hasn't noticed or been bothered by the lack of housework.

Cross your fingers that I don't puke on her shoes

I have an appointment with an editor from Harlequin on Saturday. A real live editor, from real live Harlequin, who buys and pays real, live money for romance novels. She's going to be at the retreat I'm going to this weekend and in some bit of insanity, I told them I wanted an appointment. Actually, I don't remember saying yes. I remember saying I'll think about it. But, I figure that if I'm ever going to really and truly act like a romance writer, I'd better take the appointments as they come.

In the meantime, I need to slog through about 20,000 words before Fri, and come up with a "pitch" for my book, 25 words or less. Yet, here I sit blogging instead of writing.

All things equestrian

I have quickly come to realize that quite frankly, buying the actual horse is probably the cheapest part of horse ownership. Even feeding them isn't that pricey. But holy motherfucking hell, the STUFF you need is $$$.

A few weeks ago, I bought a riding helmet. I know some people ride without them, but I'm not going to. Besides, leading by example, etc. It cost me $60, with my family discount at TSC. Cheaper than a concussion, I suppose.

Today, I was shopping for riding pants. Not a necessity, but much more comfy. The ones I bought (a size smaller than I thought I needed!) were $60. Thank god they were on sale for 50% off. I picked up one pair that were $100. I dropped them like a hot potato, let me tell you. I've never spent $100 on a pair of pants for anything, and unless I'm riding in a show, no way am I spending $100 on them to get dirty sitting on a horse. Even if they were 50% off.

Little kids pants are just as expensive. $30+ on sale. No way. I'll shop Ebay for those.

And boots. Oh my god the boots. I might be buying those used on Ebay, too. I have a pair that will do for now, but they aren't riding boots, and I really need real riding boots. Besides, the ones I have are hurting my feet. I'm not even talking about tall boots, either. I'm just talking about paddock boots, which are ankle boots. Anywhere from $80+.

I've not even looked at them for the girls. They have some boots from Target that work just fine. Besides, their feet don't even reach the stirrups yet, so the heel isn't too important.

Tack is expensive, too. God knows why, but I entertain myself looking at saddles on Ebay, and drool over English ones. Fortunately, that is something that can be bought for not too much money if you buy used. But, I don't need my own saddle, yet.

Still, I now own a pair of pants, that will get dirty on a horse, that retailed for more than I usually spend on an entire outfit.

Marriage is a wonderful thing

Even when it is just everyday life, it is still wonderful. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you. My friend D is single and involved with this guy, J. Only, they are really more like friends with benefits, but she wants to be more, and she gets all giggly when she talks about him. He has a tendency not to call, and then not know why she's upset, and she's in love, and should she tell him, etc, etc. Listening to her talk about it, it makes me really fucking glad I don't ever have to deal with that again. (Because I'll kill him before I divorce him, and he knows this fact.)

When you are married, you don't have to worry about him not calling for 2 weeks. You don't have to fret over saying I love you. Its just easier. Oh sure, marriage is a lot of work, and sometimes it sucks and you wish you had a cast iron skillet handy, but honest to god, it is a hell of a lot easier than being single and dating.

Never again, I swear. And I'm so grateful for that fact.

Another end has come

The lovely lady that wrote the blog in my sidebar, 50 Tries, has died. She was diagnosed with breast cancer when her daughter was only 9 months old. Her daughter is now 6.

I knew her as Kamic. I don't even remember how she came to Sybermoms, but she posted regularly for a while, when her disease was in remission. She posted much less frequently in recent years, with her last post being sometime last fall. Still, she was a member of our community and she will be vastly missed.

We have in the past lost a husband (I believe to cancer), a child to a drunk driver, several babies to various complications, but so far as I know, we have never lost one of us, a Sybermom. It is heartbreaking that Kamic was the first. She was a brave woman, who fought her battle with cancer with courage and grace. I hope she is at peace, and I hope her family finds healing and peace.

The End!

Well, I did it. I wrote a book. 75,000+ words and 264 pages. It only took me six months lol

But, the first draft at least is done. I have a plot, a beginning, a middle and an end. It's a book. I'm going back through and reworking some of over the next few days, because I don't like the totally unrelated part about the flower garden. She has to be interested in his horses, and they aren't having a snit after they get married like I originally wrote, so I've got to rework that, too.

But holy fuck damn, I wrote a book! Woot!

We're off to see the Wizard!

Actually, thank god we weren't transported to Oz on a tornado last night. It was a scary, scary night for the people of Tennessee last night, as well as Arkansas and Kentucky. Sadly, the death toll stands at 44 as of this morning. Fortunately for us, all of the bad weather skimmed just north of us, but it is a terrible feeling to sit and watch a storm with known tornadoes bearing down on the heart of metropolitan Nashville. 3 hospitals, 3 or 4 universities, and highly populated suburbs all under the gun.
The worst of the damage was to the northeast of the city, and I post on my mommy message board with someone who lives there. She says they dove for their closet with the kids and dogs. Their ears were popping, the house shaking, but no damage. There were fatalities in their community, though, and schools are closed for them today.

One other Sybermom known to be in the path of the storms that went just south of Clarksville has not reported in as of yet. I'm sure she is ok, and just having a life, but I worry.

At this point, I don't even know how the Super Tuesday primaries went. I should check CNN or something.

February owns me.

This is a busy month in the Piece household. We start the month off swinging with the manwhore's birthday tomorrow. He will be a very elderly 42 years young. Hard to believe I'm married to such an old guy.
Then it's literature week at school coming up, and Valentine's Day, which generally involves parties at school. Then I have my writer's retreat. We finish off the month with my birthday on the 27th, when I will be a youthful 33.

But we can't start such a busy month off without a little something, something, now can we? Of course not! So, the boychild has some sort of stomach bug that sure does look like it might be rotovirus. Peeeyeew! I'm spending my morning cleaning the carpet where the stinky, runny contents of his diaper overflowed at 5 am. Yay me.

Everytime I touch the poor kid I feel like scrubbing my hands like a surgeon prepping for surgery.